I suffered a very tragic loss in July. Around that time and immediately after I took a break from writing. Not because I wanted to but because I really needed to. I was grieving and processing. This turned into depression which then turned into chronic procrastination.
As nervous as I was about what my hiatus would do to my career I genuinely could not find the energy, or the words, to write. As the days passed, the need to put something (anything) out, grew.
I knew I was capable but the problem was me drawing blanks and yet still feeling like I was supposed to be publishing something. This was new to me. I was used to overworking and pushing my way through procrastination.
I can tell you from firsthand experience that this is actually a detriment to the creative process because disparages the most important stage of the creative process.
This is when I realized something I was still stubbornly trying to resist. It wasn’t time to write. It was time to procrastinate. Meaning, it was safe to procrastinate because all writers have a process — but so does our writing.
Our words need time too.
I can’t tell you how many times I couldn’t come up with anything to write; only to force myself to write something (anything) and come up with subpar material.
When I recognized this pattern, I started to study my procrastination cycles, while I actively procrastinated. This is how I started realizing that whenever I found it hard to write it was because I wasn’t supposed to be writing.
In time, I caught onto the bigger lesson; I needed time to feel in order to start writing again. This was a hard lesson for me because I hate being unproductive so I had to make peace with the fact that if I was supposed to be writing, I would be.
I had to face the truth that I also didn’t want to write; therefore, I didn’t want to work. This was a hard pill to swallow because it made me feel lazy for not having the drive, or finding the initiative, to write. After all, writing is my…